DATE: 5/19/12
TIME: 9 AM to 1 PM
PLACE: Union Presbyterian Church, 858 University Ave, Los Altos 94024
Please click on this link for more information or to register: http://helponechild.org/nancy-verrier
This class will benefit anyone who is part of the adoption triad: birth parent, adoptive parent, and social worker as well as the adoptee who is mature enough and inclined to be self-reflective. Ms. Verrier will address such topics as the connection between adolescent “genetic confusion” and acting out, distinguishing coping mechanisms from character traits, and other tools for managing difficult behavior.
The Big I: Identity
. Adoptees: looking for similarities, finding differences
. Always be aware of loss (of first family)
. How to get underneath the anger to the pain
. Which is it– personality, adaptation, or coping behavior?
. How to address the power struggle
. How to deal with intimidation or people pleasing behavior
. Complicity in child’s avoidance of responsibilities: writing things down
. Addressing cause and effect and why it is so difficult for these kids
. Addressing impulse control and teaching self-regulation
. How to learn more about what your child thinks/feels: the words to use.
. Parents as guides, not friends
. The use of “projective identification” to learn about child’s feelings
. Challenging the child’s belief system
. Honoring agreements to gain trust
. Parents’ self-knowledge to avoid projecting on children
